No, It’s Not Biology, Men Can Absolutely Cook and Clean
They just expect to be paid for it and you should too
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People say you should travel to learn about different cultures and expand your horizons. And they’re right: travel is eye-opening and educational.
I just returned from a trip to Egypt. I expected to learn about Egyptian history, and I did. However, the most important thing I learned is that we’re being gaslit into thinking care work, cooking and cleaning are somehow imprinted in women’s biology.
It’s all a big lie. Men can cook, clean and serve just fine. Unlike women, they’re not expected to do it for free.
When women are hidden from strangers’ eyes, men do the public care work
We spent 14 days enjoying a Nile Cruise, Cairo and Marsa Alam. During these 14 days, all the people who cooked, cleaned and served us were men. The only women I came in contact with were those at the airport security checkpoints - yes, there are separate queues for women and men - and the women’s bathrooms.
Every other person that catered to our needs was a man.
Whether men want to or can do a job is a question of whether or not they’ll be lauded and paid well for said job.
No one batted an eyelid or thought it was weird. It was natural and expected that these men knew how to clean rooms, make beds and create the most elaborate artwork from bath towels daily.
The servers in the restaurants were men. All the cooks were men, and the food was excellent.
If you’re wondering, yes, women are allowed to work in Egypt.
At 22.4%, the proportion of women who work outside the home is lower than in the West. But our guide explained that women can even work in the police and military. On the other hand, working in the tourism industry is frowned upon for women. So, men take on all these “female” jobs that they usually claim only women can do.
If it pays well, every job is a man’s job
It’s so obvious in hindsight. It’s always been right before my eyes. When money or prestige is involved, men immediately know how to do all these “female” chores.
94% of top chefs are men. For every woman-led Michelin-starred restaurant, there are 16 run by men.
How is this possible if cooking is such a female trait? What about biology?
The answer is money and stature. Whether men want to or can do a job is a question of whether or not they’ll be lauded and paid well for said job.
I’ve yet to find an alpha-male podcast that calls a top chef a beta or a soy boy for working in a kitchen. When a man makes a lot of money with “female” chores, he becomes impervious to attacks.
Not surprisingly, the percentage changes immediately when you look at the lower ranks. Most women work in lower grade kitchens and lower grade chef roles. The smaller the paycheck, the higher the amount of women you will find.
Isn’t it interesting that despite this evident and public proof of men’s proficiency in the kitchen, men will still insist that cooking is a woman’s job?
We used to be friends with a couple where the male part loved to cook. He frequently invited us over for dinner and served elaborate dishes that took him all day to prepare and that tasted phenomenally.
After every one of his cooking bonanzas, their kitchen looked as if something had exploded in there. And I leave you to guess who had to clean up behind our hobby chef.
What transforms cooking into a woman’s job? The fact that it is in a private space? The lack of payment? The lack of positive feedback from an appreciative audience?
All of the above? Yes, all of the above.
Men are top chefs, ardent hobby chefs and bakers. Have you ever watched the Great British Bake Off? Half of the winners are men!
Men enjoy cooking and baking for fame and recreation. But men are rarely the ones who’re willing to do the thankless slough of everyday cooking. Why? Well, where’s the fun in that? Where is the applause and the attentive audience? Where is the boost for the ego? And most importantly, where is the payment?
Cooking becomes women’s work when it’s invisible, unpaid and thankless. It’s not biology. It’s disregard and disdain for women’s time and resources.
Men do women’s work all around us
You’ll find the same mechanism at play everywhere. Take sewing and knitting. Two very typical female hobbies. Few men have enough self-confidence to be seen knitting in public. Before the influx of industrial clothes and fast fashion, making and mending clothes for the family was a woman’s job.
How many times have you heard that women are the ones that care about fashion and shoes while men can’t be arsed to care about such frills?
But, if I asked you to name a fashion designer, what names would you think of from the top of your head? Dior, YSL, Tom Ford, Louboutin? All men. Sure, maybe Chanel would pop up as the female exception.
High fashion is firmly in the hands of men. If clothes and fashion are such a female domain, please explain why seven of the 10 top fashion designers are male?
Again, the answer is money and prestige. Men will happily engage in these frivolous, girly pastimes as soon as money is involved—and there is a lot of money in fashion.
But sew a button back on or mend a tear in a pair of jeans? Forget about that. That’s a skill only women can learn, apparently.
It’s not biology; it’s exploitation
The minute a chore has to be performed daily and for free, it becomes women’s work, and someone will crawl out of the woodwork to remind us it’s in our biology to do it for free willingly.
The OECD (Organization of Economic Cooperation and Development) defines unpaid labor as the unremunerated time spent on domestic tasks such as caring for children, the elderly or other household members or non-household members, cooking, cleaning, laundry and shopping for household goods.
One estimate of the “true economic value of this work” is $10,900,000,000,000.
No gene makes women more capable cooks, seamstresses or cleaners. Society profits from the unpaid labor women perform.
We’re being exploited and told that it is biology.
It’s not. Paying women for the labor they perform would be expensive; it’s cheaper to uphold the narrative that women are genetically disposed to do these tasks.
Whenever a man tells you something is a woman’s job - if it’s not growing and birthing a new human - remember they’re trying to exploit you. Say no and remind them of all the examples of men prominently making money doing women’s jobs.
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Yes to all of this! Oddly enough as you mention, in male-dominated countries, men do all the "female" responsibilities. The general public seems to take something more seriously if it comes from a man. Men would be lactation consultants if we let them.
It’s the same within professional music too. I observed as a kid in school that only girls seemed to pick the flute to play—boys wouldn’t touch it. However, when I watched professional orchestras on TV like the NY Phil or came across solo records with world star flute players such as James Galway and Rampal…Guess what! Mostly men.