The Myth of the Man-Hating Feminist Is Both Popular and Untrue
The "misandry myth" is used to scare both men and women away from the discussion about gender equality
The internet is full of “nice” men complaining that women won’t date them even though they’ve treated them really well.
Apparently, all women are just looking for assholes or rich men. And then there are the “alpha” men on the podcasts, aka the assholes. They tell men that they have to oppress women and put them in their place in order for women to like them.
The common denominator of all these men vilifying women is that they are sure that their problems with women are the fault of feminists. Never theirs.
Clearly, feminists have poisoned women’s minds because they hate men.
Now, there are many good reasons to hate “alpha male” podcasters and nice guys who try to force women to like them by being transactionally “nice,” but it turns out that feminists aren’t more likely to hate them than every other woman.
A recent paper shows that the myth that feminists hate men is just that: the “Misandry Myth.”
The researchers looked at how different feminist ideologies (liberal, cultural, radical, women of color) influence women’s attitudes toward men. And, of course, they found that some feminists are also misandrists, but no more so than non-feminist women.
Unsurprisingly, there are also just as many non-feminists who dislike men.
Despite what you might have been led to believe, wanting equal rights, resources and opportunities for all doesn’t automatically make you hate men.
However, being assaulted and oppressed by men will do that for you.
Women don’t start “hating men” out of the blue. Most women who either fear or dislike men have been victimized by men in some shape or form.
As the Berkeley High Jacket writes: Women frequently deal with violence, danger, and overall unsafety that is most often perpetrated by men.
If we look at the statistics, it is surprising how few women are actual misandrists.
Domestic violence is widespread. Rape is common. According to thehotline.org, three out of ten women in the USA have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking. 15% of women have been injured as a result of intimate partner violence.
We can safely assume that bad experiences with men that might turn women into man-haters are not reserved for feminists alone. There are enough men out there working hard to make women dislike them.
But when it comes to your run-of-the-mill feminist, chances are high that she doesn’t hate men at all.
The authors of the “Misandry Myth” paper performed five studies with over 9,000 participants to investigate if feminists have a more negative perception of men.
They concluded: The present findings reveal that feminists’ attitudes toward men are broadly positive and broadly similar to other people’s attitudes toward men.
But insinuating that feminists are ugly men-haters who can’t get any is useful. For many reasons. The stereotype of the misandrist shrew repels not only men but also stops women from wanting to be associated with feminism.
It’s not uncommon for intelligent and successful women to publicly start an argument they’re trying to make with, “I’m not a feminist, but…”
As if feminism is a swear word. Or something to be ashamed of.
Clearly, the demonization of feminism has been a very effective tool to stop women from identifying with a movement that is working for the betterment of their lives.
Who wants to be seen as a barren spinster who can’t get a man — definitely not me when I was younger.
I was very keen not to be lumped in with these “manly feminazis,” so I bought into this stereotype for a long time and fought hard not to be associated with it. I tried to prove that I was a feminine woman and not a feminist woman, as if one excluded the other.
To whom? In hindsight, I can’t really say.
Since the beginning of the feminist movement, women who fight for gender equality are the target of insults; their femininity is questioned, and their motivation is doubted.
The association of the term “feminism” with hatred of men, lesbianism and a lack of femininity is one of the top reasons why many young women reject the label “feminist.”
The study authors found that even though feminists don’t hate men “people generally perceive the opposite to be true. In so doing, the present findings disconfirm a trope that deters women from feminism and which is widely used to delegitimize it.”
And that is convenient for the patriarchal system. If women believe that there is something wrong with the women who fight for their rights, they are less likely to believe that there is something wrong with the system that oppresses them.
Don’t want to be your husband’s servant? Cook his meals, wash the skid marks out of his undies, and tend to his needs around the clock? Pop out his babies and take care of them, too?
Something must be wrong with you!
Feminine women adore taking care of their loved ones. If you don’t, you’re broken.
You want equal pay? Childcare so you can focus on your job? That’s crazy. Women have it so good. You can stay at home and look after the kids like a real woman, maybe have a little part-time job to supplement the family income.
Why should you strive for a successful career? Your career is your family — at least if you’re a real woman.
Don’t listen to those feminists who obviously hate men because they can’t find anyone who wants them.
Sounds familiar?
Probably because it’s the tired nonsense we’re being fed on a daily basis by a system that profits from the inequality and women’s unpaid labor.
As the amazing Gloria Steinem said in an interview, there would be 400 billion dollars more in the US economy if we paid women fairly for the work they already do. Just let that sink in.
There is nothing wrong with women who want to live their lives on equal terms with men. We now have the research that feminists like men as much as the average woman.
The claim that feminists hate men is as inaccurate as the often accompanying argument that we no longer need feminism because women are now “equal” or that the real victims of gender discrimination today are boys and men.
Luckily, we now have the research to show that this is untrue. The “Misandry Myth” is just that: a myth.
Remember, there is no easier way to rule and oppress a people than by dividing them.
“Divide and rule, the politician cries;
Unite and lead, is watchword of the wise.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Gedichte
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Madt! You've said everything on my mind hut like in a much better and succinct way. The whole feminists hate men bs is getting old and women are getting tired. I really enjoyed reading this.